


Walls Fall Down

by escaped_reality



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, One Shot but might continue, Post-Break Up, Set between 3x15 and 3x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 11:52:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15266940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaped_reality/pseuds/escaped_reality
Summary: Set after Necromancing the Stone, Sara visits Ava to try and clear the air between them. However, Ava isn't in the mood to listen.





	Walls Fall Down

She wished she could fill the hollow feeling in her chest, but the numbness never seemed to go away. Ava sat up in bed slowly, cursing the puddle of tears that mocked her on her pillow. She had never felt so out of control, so weak. Granted, she never gave her heart to someone the way she did to Sara Lance. She knew it was a gamble. She knew there risks. She just never expected it to hurt this much.

A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts. Assuming it was Gary, she pulled the pillow over her head and let out a groan. Ava wiped at her face aggressively to try to hide the evidence of her tears. She knew the attempt was futile, but it was worth a shot.

When she finally made it to the door, she took a deep breath before preparing herself for the inquisitive mind of Gary Green.

However, when she yanked the door open, Gary Green wasn’t the one who stared back at her.

It was Sara Lance.

Ava let out a ragged breath. It was as if the sight of Sara physically drove a knife through her. Sara was staring back at her with pleading eyes, urging Ava to let her in.

“Hi,” Sara whispered quietly. Sara let her eyes roam Ava’s face for no longer than a second. She noted the dark circles under red rimmed eyes and even though Ava looked like she hadn’t slept in ages, she was still the most beautiful woman Sara had ever seen.

Ava let herself feel for only a moment longer before trying to put on a brave face. Sara watched in dismay as the taller woman straightened herself up, pulled her shoulders back and cleared her throat. Sara watched the walls slam down around Ava and this time, she wasn’t allowed in.

“What are you doing here?” Ava asked in a no-nonsense tone.

“I don’t really know,” Sara said sheepishly.

Ava clenched her jaw and made a move to close the door before Sara’s hand smacked into it holding it open. Ava tried not to let her anger get the better of her, but Sara was sending her mixed signals and she had, had enough.

“Please, can we talk for a moment? Then I will leave you alone.”

Ava nodded before leading Sara inside.

“How are you?” Sara asked hesitantly.

“Sara,” Ava began annoyed.

“Right, stupid question,” Sara agreed. “I just thought we should clear the air. I know it’s only been a couple days, but I don’t want work to be difficult if we happen to run into each other.”

“You,” Ava laughed incredulously, “you came to clear the air?”

Sara nodded.

“And here I thought maybe,” Ava trailed off as she rolled her eyes at herself. She should have known better than to get her hopes up thinking that Sara might want to get back together.

“Thought maybe what?” Sara asked.

“It’s nothing. Consider the air cleared, Sara.” Ava said as she gave Sara a tight smile. “I actually was in the middle of something, so if you wouldn’t mind leaving.” Ava needed Sara to leave. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep the tears at bay. She felt her bottom lip begin to quiver and cursed herself for being so weak.

“Ava, please, I’m sure we can talk this out a little more.”

“No, I just- I can’t deal with this right now, you need to leave.” Ava tried to usher Sara towards the door, but she wouldn’t budge.

“Ava,” Sara tried once more, but when she saw the stern look on Ava’s face she knew that she wasn’t wanted there. “Fine, I’ll just go.”

“Thank you,” Ava bit out as she watched Sara walk towards the door. “Glad we _cleared the air_ ,” Ava said in a mocking tone under her breath. Unfortunately, the shorter woman heard.

Sara whirled around angrily, “This isn’t easy for me!”

“Oh, and you think this is easy for me?” Ava laughed bitterly. “I don’t do this stuff, Sara. This isn’t me. I-I don’t fall in love.” Ava’s voice cracked against her words and she cursed herself for showing Sara so much weakness. “I’ve always been better off alone and then you weaseled your way into my life. And I fought – I fought so damn hard with myself over letting you in and then I finally did.” Ava raised her head to look the captain in the eye. “And now look at us.” Sara was not surprised to see the tears pouring down Ava’s face, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.  

“I don’t want to hurt you, Ava,” Sara whispered as she tried to inch closer to her.

Ava chucked darkly, the sound deafening to Sara’s ears. “What does this look like to you?” The Time Agent pointed to her bloodshot eyes and red face with a shaky hand.

“I-I’m sorry, but this is what is best.” Sara nodded her head as if assuring herself that she was doing the right thing. Her heart was pounding in her chest, urging her to reach across the distance and wrap Ava in her arms, but her feet would not move.

Her last words only seemed to anger Ava as the taller woman stood up and started pacing around the room. “You have no right to make that decision for me.”

“Ava, come on,” Sara tried to interrupt before she, herself, was interrupted.

“No, Sara. It’s not your decision.” She rounded on Sara with a frustrated look. “Does it make you feel noble, when you save people from yourself?” Ava asked harshly through a clenched jaw. “I don’t need saving, Sara. I never did.”

Sara stood with her eyes locked onto Ava’s, she refused to back down. “It’s just better this way.”

Ava smiled incredulously, “For whom exactly?” Ava gestured between herself and Sara, both woman on the verge of tears.

Sara shook her head. “In the long run? Both of us. I’m not enough for you, Ava. You deserve better.”

“Not enough for me? Sara, you are everything! Why don’t you see that?”

“I can’t,” Sara whispered. She hesitantly took a step back. She felt that putting distance between them would protect them both. After a few more steps, she turned on her heels ready to make a break for it until a voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Why are you so afraid to be happy?”

Sara’s whole body tensed as she slowly turned to face Ava.

“I’m not,” she said quietly. “I’m afraid of what happens when that happiness gets ripped from me.”

“Why do you already assume we are going to end in a disaster?”

“You read my file, Ava!” Sara yelled. “You know my history, you know my life. Tell me, how am I supposed to think anything positive that happens to me will end in anything other than heartbreak? My life is cursed. I’m sorry if I don’t want to drag you down with me. I can’t do this. I can’t be happy knowing that I will hurt you. I can’t be happy knowing that we won’t make it.”

Ava stared pleadingly at Sara, willing the blonde to give them another chance, but Sara quickly looked away from her. She didn’t know what else to say to get Sara to change her mind. Sara was the only one who could convince herself that they were worth it. Sara was the only one that could do this for them. Ava knew in her heart that they were right for each other, that they could be extraordinary together. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like they would get that chance.

Ava couldn’t force someone to be in a relationship with her. Clearly, Sara was not ready and she may never be. Maybe there was only one thing left to do...

Ava moved quickly towards Sara and before thinking better of it, enveloped the smaller woman in a hug. She heard Sara’s breath hitch and felt the blonde’s body stiffen before feeling Sara relax quickly into her embrace. They stood there holding one another, clinging to a relationship that they felt they couldn’t have. Ava lost track of time as she stood there holding Sara, she tried to memorize everything about the shorter woman: the way she smelled, the way her body fit against hers, the way her breathing was able to calm Ava down, the way Sara’s arms around her made her feel wanted.

Sara was the first to pull away, but not before Ava placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. They both reluctantly moved from each other unable to keep the frowns from returning to their faces.

“I’m sorry,” Ava said as she cleared her throat. “It just felt like the right way to say goodbye.”

Sara’s eyes widened at the phrasing, “g-goodbye?”

“Well, yes. I think it’s best if we keep our distance moving forward.” Ava looked oddly at Sara, she thought this was what she wanted.

“Right, right.” Sara muttered to herself. “What if the Legends ever need help? Or the Time Bureau?” Sara asked quickly.

Ava narrowed her eyes at Sara before replying, “Well I assume that I can either send Gary or Rip to handle the situation if need be.”

Sara paused. “Gary or Rip?”

“Yes,” Ava said, slowly. “Sara, what is going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. I was just getting a message from the team.” Sara said, pointing to her ear. “They need me back on the Waverider,” Sara said convincingly.

Ava studied Sara for a minute. She knew Sara was lying, but she couldn’t figure out why.

“Okay, well you should get going then,” Ava said, giving Sara the out that she needed.

She saw Sara sigh in relief and knew she made the right choice. Sara headed towards the door before stopping abruptly and turning around. “I hope this isn’t goodbye forever?”

Ava was silent a moment before she responded, “It’s not. Promise. I’ll see you around, Captain Lance.”

“Director Sharpe,” Sara said with a smirk. Sara was about to open the door when she heard Ava shout for her.

“Sara, wait!”

Sara quickly spun around with hope in her eyes, “what?”

Ava took a deep breath trying to rein in her emotions. “I know you think that your life is cursed, but sooner or later, you may have a chance to be really happy. I just don’t want the biggest thing to be getting in the way of that to be _you_. I know life has been unkind to you, but I hope that it will eventually pay off, just be open to it when it does. Don’t let yourself live a miserable life because you were too afraid to take a chance, okay? You deserve all the happiness in the world. Especially,” Ava cleared her throat as her tears began to fall, “especially when you find that special someone.”

Sara stared at Ava, speechless. The taller woman gave her a watery smile. Sara felt like Ava was giving her up and the thought shook her to the core. The thought of Ava letting her go tore Sara in two. At a loss for words, Sara merely nodded before giving Ava a smile and quickly walking out the door.

Once outside Ava’s apartment, Sara let her tears fall. Everything she was holding back inside came to the foreground and she fought to keep herself from sinking to the floor. She didn’t know why she was so upset. She came to the apartment to clear the air and she got exactly what she wanted, why was she unhappy with this result? She leaned gently against the wall next to Ava’s door to try and gather her bearings and cursed herself to hell and back when she heard the heavy sobs echoing from inside. She didn’t know why this hurt so much. They weren’t together that long, but this goodbye felt permanent.

Sara took a few deep breaths before wiping her eyes. She fought the urge to walk back into Ava’s apartment to comfort her, but knew they needed the separation. Sara made her way to the Waverider, smiling when she remembered the bottle of whiskey that would be waiting for her. She could kiss this emotional day goodbye. 

...If only she knew the days ahead were about to get a whole lot worse.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments! 
> 
> I am leaving it as a one shot for now, but I do have an idea of where to take this story if enough people want me to continue!


End file.
